One Day Three Nurseries

Yesterday my sister and I both had the day off from work. The morning was promising. We went to our favorite pancake place, which also happens to be on a small airfield with heaps of old fashioned biplanes milling about, and ordered three stacks, complete with Maine blueberries and chocolate chips. My stomach filled with warm, syrupy goodness, I was in such a state of bliss that I didn't protest at all when my mother suggested we make a stop to a nursery to pick up some small trees for her garden. Little did I know, one nursery would lead to two more and this gardening excursion would take up the rest of the day. What follows are the chronicles of the green, flowery time-sucking vortex I experienced. But I was on such a sugar rush, I didn't really care. I think my mother planned it like that all along, the diabolical genius. She innocently suggests taking her two daughters to get sugar-laden pancakes, only so that they are subdued for her horticultural chores.

Nursery 1

 The first nursery we went to, Middletown, was stunning. It was a strange mix between oriental zen garden and New England rustic style.

My sister is taking a step forward in the photo, not getting into a power stance to defend herself against the plants...which is what it looks like...

You can see from this photo the evidence that my mother's devious plan did in fact work from the blind glee on my sister's face. She doesn't even know where she is at this point.

This garden statue appears to be the head of a long-necked, large-nostriled, earless dragon attempting to eat a pine branch. I'm not surprised that this species now only exists in garden decor, because it is hardly designed for survival in the wild. Its oversized nostrils indicate that he was a pleasure-seeking-good-for-nothing-glutton who chomped up anything it could smell out with its minuscule teeth that are good for nothing except grinding up all that fattening pine. Its ears were useless in detecting predators which it couldn't defend itself against anyway, because of his lanky neck that would bend like a bobo doll if moved too quickly. I'm not sure why I presented that false history with such disdain, but that, my friends, is why this dragon is extinct. You're welcome.

This frog I take more kindly to. He's just chilling out. Being thankful. Not bothering anybody. I like your style frog. Take note, earless dragon.

Nursery 2

The next nursery we ventured to was Heather Gardens. It was more of a secret garden, hidden back off the main road.

Here is my sister, Sarah, contemplating which herbs to put in our new herb garden. We wanted to start a flower garden that would kick our mom's garden's butt. However, we discovered that real plants are kind of costly, which seems silly because they grow in the ground, and if I wanted to, I could pull them out of any old average Joe's garden for free. But I'm not a cold-blooded criminal, nor am I made of money, so we settled on some simple herbs. 

Somewhere around this point my mother asked me, "Caroline, will you take this plant to the cart out front please?" This is where my mother's plan of sugaring her daughters up backfired. I get quite jovial, loud, obnoxious, and very humorous (in my opinion) when I'm hyper. I yelled back at my mother, "Can you take your attitude to the cart? 'Cuz it's really starting to get on my nerves." At which point I chortled at my own mock-sassy joke. 

There's something about a man with dirt on his hands and sturdy boots on his feet surrounded by plants that's appealing. This young man we see here was a perfect example. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to get his face in the picture because I'm not a complete creep weirdo. This fine specimen was in earshot when I made the above hilarious joke and gave me a quick distressed look before looking down and hurrying away. Haters gonna hate. 

"No I can't come over tonight. I already have plans to sit on a rock topless brushing my hair until some sailor is dumb enough to try to swim over so I can get his number and prank call him."

 "The sun represents everything I hate in the world. Including iced drinks that are more expensive than their heated counterpart."

 "Oh hey Selena Gomez. Tell me all about your bindi and what spiritual significance it holds for you."

Biggest Loser: Garden Edition

"I really should have gotten this ear infection checked out."

"Should I have texted him back 'haha' instead of 'lol'?"

"Our bacon is heavenly."

"This miso soup looks like crap."

 Say what you want--I can rock a bird mustache.

No matter how much I begged, no matter how many practical benefit I listed, they wouldn't let me buy this blueberry bush.

 A picture of Sarah coming off the sugar-high. A hard hitting message to parents to warn against over-sugaring your children.

The lady who worked at the nursery told my sister and me that this plant "looked like us." I'm not sure how to take that...

Nursery 3

 By the third nursery, Mahoney's, we were all running out of steam. I didn't know a small island like this even had a market for three plus nurseries. There simply can't be that much demand.

Sarah opted to tend to her social life via smart phone during this nursery visit.

 They had hideous Christmas trees. It's not even the season for them...

Mom this isn't a grocery store.

These were the trees we originally set out for. Three nurseries and several hours earlier.

I was starting to fall out of fancy with this whole nursery-hopping trip.

I blame you for this, small shrubbery.

The classic Vineyard flower. You see these everywhere.

Mom selecting the best of the best.

Why so grumpy?

That's not authentic happiness.

That's a little better...The jaunty stride helps.

I am the queen of mulch.

I'm not even sure this is a real animal...

I'm not even sure these are real plants...They might be some type of alien nutrition bar in flower form...

The haul was impressive.

 Me and my plant friends cozying up in the backseat.

In the end, I got some herbs that I aspire to (but probably won't) use in omelets or savory pies, I met some interesting garden statues, and I suffered from some pretty severe sneezing attacks from the pollen infiltrating my nostrils. I've had my fill of nurseries for the summer.