Adventures in the Mall

Today, since coming home from college I have nothing productive to do, I decided to join my mother in a foray to the wondrous hyper-center of American consumerism: the mall. That's not to say I don't like the mall. We just got some really good stores. (oh meh gawd Free People AND Sephora?) Anyway, my goal for this expedition into the land of gazillion calorie pretzels and stores that don't want "uncool" customers was to procure for myself a hoop for my recent cartilage piercing. I'm a wuss and didn't get the hoop right off the bat when it was actually pierced because I knew it would hurt too badly. Little did I know that there is a small market for cartilage hoops that are not hot pink with devilish points on the ends, or black and reminiscent of angry teenagers. My relatively preppy mother and borderline hippie/actually-just-unstylish me ventured into Hot Topic. That store is a completely different world. There were cases of "body jewelry" or "BJ" (hmm...) taller than me, next to walls wallpapered with t-shirts of bands with angst-y names. There were many other objects in the store that I was too scared to investigate closely. I don't mean to say that I wouldn't want anything that Hot Topic sells, or that I look down on anyone who shops there. Those people just intimidate me so severely that when I walk in there with my bun and my Toms, I feel as though I am a member of another tribe that is very clearly trespassing.

Just imagine this:

Walking into this:

The feeling was even more intense in Spencer's, a store that I took two steps into before spinning on my heel and walking right back out, arms pinned to my sides, eyes glued forward, lest they meet an eye-liner-covered counterpart.

Maybe I would have been more accepted if I looked like this:

My adventure ended at the Piercing Pagoda. I felt more at home among the five year-olds picking out their Dora the Explorer earrings (yes they exist). Today, I explored new worlds, and maintained the balance of an elegant cartilage piercing. Or else I just look like a girl who stuck a regular earring through the wrong part of her ear.